


Chase your dreams

by DeadTrashInc



Category: youtube - Fandom
Genre: F/F, hartbig - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:24:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6988909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadTrashInc/pseuds/DeadTrashInc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a cheesy story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The stranger in the rain

**The Straanger in the Rain**

Everyone always say that they hate the rain. That it is awful and wet and something that makes you sick. It is seen as a bad thing in our world to this date, but Hannah Hart has a different opinion.

Where others felt the need to hide, she felt the need to be at the center. She loved sitting down on the wet pavement while the rain poured over her skin. She loved the feeling of wet clothes sticking to her slick body. Melting together with her curves. The sound of the raindrops hitting the ground and emerge with the little, streaming rivers on the pavement.

But most of all: she loved how truly and utterly peaceful it was.

It was the one and only time where she could think without interruption. Without being distracted.

But it wasn’t so peaceful anymore. No, let me rephrase that. It was even more beautiful now. Because beside Hannah was ‘’The Stranger’’, the only other person Hannah had encountered who appreciated the sound of drops hitting the ground as much as she did. And though she didn’t know it yet, The Stranger would be the most important person in her life very soon.

They had never spoken. They had never gotten to know each other. They just laid on the pavement together when it rained. Hannah didn’t even know her name. So in her mind she was called ‘’The Stranger’’.

Her hand entangled in brown, wet locks. Eyes muddy brown, staring into the sky. Staring at the sky and the grey clouds reminiscing there.

Hannah couldn’t help but look. Look at the stars that were formed in her brown eyes as the night sky above them was hidden by the rain.

And when she turned to meet Hannah’s gaze, the conflict between the splashing puddles in brown and the ravishing drops hitting her face confused Hannah. So many secrets were hidden behind the puddles. So many locks to unlock. And she intended to unlock every last one.

The Stranger smiled at her when she saw how Hannah was grinning.

They didn’t need words. They didn’t need to talk. The silence was peaceful. And they were both content with just sitting in the rain and thinking. Listening. Not only listening to the pouring rain, but also each other’s heartbeats.

The Stranger brought one of her hands to Hannah’s and slid her fingers in between the wet ones of her silent companion. In all of Hannah’s 18 years, she had never once found herself comfortable with intertwining her digits with another living being. Or any touching for that matter. But this was special. This was nice. This was not like all those times in the previous years.

Some people believed in curses. Some said it was Gods punishment. Others said it was witchcraft and myths. Hannah didn’t know which one to believe, but she knew it was real. Because every time someone got close, or when someone touched her, she flinched. She couldn’t be touched, and that was her curse. But somehow The Stranger was immune. The Stranger could touch her, and Hannah’s mind was conflicted.

They looked at each other, and then they looked at the rain again. Listening. Smiling. Content with the world.

Fingers still intertwined, they laid down on the pavement to feel the world drown around them.

Hannah thought back to the first time their eyes had met. What a wonderful day that had been.

***

Hannah closed her eyes and let the rain drum on her skin. She had found peace with her body yet again as the water ran around her. Over her. Under her.

Her hair surrounded her head and her hands rested contently on her stomach. The wet shirt felt relaxing under her tired fingers.

Her necklace slid down her neck and landed in a pool beside her face. It had been a gift from her brother before he disappeared. He had said that the symbol engraved on the circular metal meant; ‘’To protect the unprotected’’.

Her brother had been 19 when she was 15. He had his whole world in front of him, a world he promised Hannah she would take a part in, but then… One day he just vanished. Out of her life. Out of this world. He was the only person that Hannah felt close to, and now.. He was just gone.

Hannah looked at the grey clouds and pushed her brother out of her mind.

Everything else felt so nice. So liberating. It was as if the rest of her life had disappeared. There weren’t any pain. Misery. Darkness. The water took it all away from her.

She heard footsteps beside her and opened her eyes.

A shadow, only illuminated by the streetlight, hovered over her head. It was just standing there. Doing nothing. Until the shadow shifted and sat down beside Hannah. Then it laid down beside her.

Hannah could now see that it was a girl, and it was the most beautiful girl she had seen. (She hadn’t seen many others because she was bound to her home the most of the time).

The girl turned her head, and Hannah’s blue eyes met deep-brown orbs.

‘’Wow’’ she thought.

‘’Those eyes are amazing’’.

She was so strange. Her eyes were strange. And the feeling Hannah got from looking at her was strange. But the strange was a feeling, Hannah decided, she liked very much.

Hannah would call her The Stranger. She wouldn’t ask for her name, because then she would break the peaceful silent. And since everything seemed so strange, it felt right to name her The Stranger.

Hannah’s silent, beautiful stranger.

***

Hannah looked at her wrist. The worn-out leather clock was showing her how time had run out for her, and she started making excuses to The Stranger as to why she had to go.

Hannah did not want to return home. She did not want to return to the pain and misery that had followed her for as long as she could remember. But she had to.


	2. Hannah's first farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is really cheesy....

**Hannah’s first Farewell**

She opened the door slowly and gently to keep from waking her parents.

It wasn’t that they didn’t know that she had been out; they had to know that by now. No, it was that she wanted to postpone meeting their enraged faces.  
As she gently closed the wooden door she heard shouting from above.

Okay. Not asleep then, she thought to herself.

Hannah started walking up the stairs. The fright made her body shiver as she took each step closer to her life. The life no one knew about.

She always tried to stay calm and pretend it wasn’t a big deal, but the truth was that she was scared to the point where she couldn’t even stand most of the time.

She reached the top of the staircase, and she leaned her shoulder to the wall for a second. Trying to regain some strength before walking into the known warzone.

‘’You filthy whore! I can’t believe that I got stuck with you and that worthless piece of shit!’’

Hannah pushed away from the wall and walked over to the door. It was wide open, and she froze. Her father was pinning her mother down by her hair. Her mother was pleading for him to let go of her, but he didn’t care.

‘’I ought to end you and that tramp!’’

Hannah walked in and swung her right hand once in his face, and once under the belt.

‘’Don’t talk to her like that!’’

He threw her mother away and looked at Hannah with raging black eyes.

‘’You’’ he shouted.

He stumbled over to her and grabbed her shoulders. She couldn’t wriggle out of his touch and he lowered his face to look her in the eyes. His breath smelled strongly of alcohol and cigarettes.

‘’You’re gonna pay for that, bitch’’

He backed her into the wall and fastened the chains around her body.

It was the usual routine. At first he beat her. And with every strike she took, her mother just watched. Bruised and beaten blue eyes stared at her, unable to move away.

After the beating he proceeded to undress her, and that was the part where Hannah always wished he had beaten her unconscious first. But that never happened. He wanted her to feel the pain. The betrayal. The roughness. And he had no mercy. Never any mercy as he brought forth the knives. The fists. But those things weren’t the worst. These nights weren’t even the worst. It was when he had friends over and passed her between them to be their slave. Chained to a bed with no escape from several different men. Afterwards, they paid him.

‘’You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me. You would have been nothing. Show some fucking gratitude!’’

He slashed his knife into Hannah’s skin and Hannah cried out.

‘’Say you’re sorry’’ he shouted in her face.

His alcohol stained spit landed on her nose and mouth, and she tried to shake it off.

‘’Say you’re thankful!’’

This proceeded at hours at an end.

This was a typical ‘’family night’’ in the Hart residence. Mother gets beaten. Daughter gets beaten and cut open. Never deep enough to kill, but always deep enough to hurt.

He liked making them hurt. To enforce the pain he always was conflicting.

Hannah would scream out muffled screams that wouldn’t be heard. At least not by anyone that cared. Not by anyone that wasn’t high on various narcotics or wasn’t in on hurting them.

Hannah had never felt love. She had never known soft touches that were safe. When she thought about it; she had never felt safe.

At least not in her home. But she did feel safe when she was with The Stranger. Even though she had never heard her voice, or seen her outside the rain, she had seen her. And what she had seen was just simply safe.

Hannah wondered if it was possible to love someone you don’t know. If it was possible to know someone you don’t know. Because even though she didn’t know The Stranger, she knew her. She knew her muddy brown puddles. She knew her smile, her hands. She knew her.

Her mother loosened the chains and helped Hannah down.

‘’Mom, we have to leave. He’s going to keep doing this until one day when we lay cold and dead in front of his feet’’

Hannah looked up at her mother, tears running from her eyes. The pain was too much for her this time. He had fucked her up more than he used to.

‘’No, he just had a long day at job.’’

Hannah scoffed and looked away as she clung to her mother. The blood was still sliding down her skin.

‘’A long day in the bar, you mean?’’

Her mother slapped her, and Hannah laughed.

‘’Don’t you speak of your father like that’’

Hannah returned her gaze to her mother. Cold blue eyes fixed on bruised ones.

‘’What, are you going to do as he has done with me for so many years now? Are you really about to go down that road?’’

She slapped her once more and proceeded to stop the bleeding of the cuts. As she put the bandages over the cuts Hannah looked away again.

‘’Mom, I turned 18 a few hours ago. You can’t keep me here anymore. Whether you like it or not; I am leaving tonight. I would like you to come with me’’

Hannah could hear the quiet sobs and the silent tears from her mother.

‘’I can’t leave him, Hannah. He’s all I have’’

Hannah felt anger rise in her beaten body.

‘’You have me’’ she shouted.

Her mother smiled weakly and put a hand on Hannah’s cheek.

‘’No. I lost you when I let him lay a hand on you the first time’’

She kissed Hannah’s forehead and pulled back to look into Hannah’s blue eyes.

‘’Come on. Let’s pack your stuff before he comes back’’

She didn’t have much, but she had enough. She had two shirts, one pair of pants, two T-shirts and a couple of underwear and socks. She had her one book, her favorite book; Behind my Ribs. It was her life. The author described it so beautifully down to every last detail. Sometimes she thought that she was the main character. That she was a character living inside a book.

But the most important thing she owned, the most important thing in the world, was the necklace around her neck. It was the only thing she had from Drew.

It had been quick packing them down into a bag and leave the house. But now she had nowhere to go. Nowhere to sleep. She had nothing but the bag and its contents. But it was better than to live the life she had lived for the past 18 years.

Hannah ran for an hour. She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t know where she was going to end up in the end. All she knew was that she had to keep on running so that her father couldn’t find her.

She stopped after an hour and laid down. It was still raining outside, and the pavement under her was the same she had laid down on with The Stranger. A little part of her hoped that she would still be there. That she would be waiting for Hannah, but no one was there except her. And the rain.

She didn’t know how long she was just lying there, looking at the stars and thinking of how the world would perceive her now that she was one without a home. A wanderer. Without family or anyone who loved her.

She had The Stranger, but how would she react when she heard Hannah’s history? How she was abused sexually, emotionally and physically. But if she didn’t tell her, where would that leave them? If all Hannah did was deceive her, how could that be friendship?

Were they even friends? They couldn’t name each other. They didn’t know anything about each other.

All these thoughts, Hannah decided, was self-destructive. So she stopped thinking for a while and just laid there listening to the rain. Missing the sound of another slow heartbeat in her presence.

Hannah closed her eyes and drifted into the darkness around her.

She opened her eyes to see a little girl standing over her. Looking at her with confusion in her eyes.

‘’Are you okay?’’

The little girl tilted her head as she asked the question.

It was a simple question. It was ‘yes’ or ‘no’. So why couldn’t Hannah answer it?

‘’You don’t look okay’’

Hannah offered a weak smile to the girl.

‘’I’m fine. Just a little tired’’

The little girl smiled and then pointed beside Hannah’s head.

‘’What is that?’’ she asked.

Hannah turned her head to see her necklace on the ground.

‘’Oh, that. It is a symbol. My brother gave it to me’’

Hannah turned to face the little girl.

‘’What does it mean?’’

Hannah took the metal in her hand and traced her fingers over the engraved symbol.

‘’It means ‘Protect the Unprotected’’’

The little girl smiled and sat down beside Hannah as Hannah sat up.

‘’And where is he now, your brother?’’

Hannah looked up at the sky. The sun was shining down at them, and the rain was gone. It was a new day.

‘’He’s..’’ she started.

Her voice croaked as she tried to go on.

‘’He’s, umh. He’s not here. Anymore’’

She tried to smile at the girl, but all that came was the trembling in her lips. The welling in her eyes. The feelings she had tried to hold back for so long.

‘’Then where is he?’’

Hannah looked at this little girl. This curious, sweet little girl that wouldn’t stop digging in her wounds.

‘’He’s… I don’t know. But I like to believe he’s in a better place’’

She smiled as she felt one tear slide down to her mouth and merge with her lips.

The girl smiled and put a hand on Hannah’s shoulder.

‘’It’s okay. My sister says that our mother is in a better place too. Maybe they are together’’

‘’Maybe’’

Hannah smiled at the girl. The girl without a mother, but at least she had a sister. Someone to look after her. Hannah didn’t have that. Not anymore.

She took the necklace off of her neck and handed it to the girl.

‘’Here. You should have it. It will protect you when you are scared’’

The girl took the necklace out of Hannah’s hands.

‘’My sister says I shouldn’t accept anything from strangers’’

Hannah laughed.

‘’Tell her that she is doing a very good job at taking care of you’’

They locked eyes, and Hannah could swear she had seen those eyes somewhere before. They looked so familiar. As if she knew her from somewhere.

Then it hit her.

She had seen the same eyes before. Not on this little girl, but on someone else.

Brown puddles, full of life. Splashing inside the irises.

The Stranger.

Before she could be even more baffled by the newfound revolution, a new voice appeared.

‘’Come on, Lex. We gotta go’’

The little girl turned around and smiled.

‘’Okay’’

She got up on her feet as Hannah heard footsteps come to a close behind her.

It couldn’t be… Could it?

No. Hannah decided that; no, it couldn’t be her. It couldn’t be The Stranger. She couldn’t be hearing the voice for the first time.

A part of Hannah wanted to turn around. To face the unfamiliar voice. The voice that held all the strange things Hannah saw in the deep brown.

But another part of her wanted to go. Run and don’t look back. It wanted her to never face the silence that had been broken.

But yet, she did.

She turned around and saw the brown locks fall over shoulders as the humid air moisturized it. She saw the slender body lowered to face the little one. She saw sun-kissed skin glow in front of the girl. She saw lips smiling, then stop when she laid eyes on Hannah. But most of all; she saw the bewildered look in the brown oceans staring back at her.

Hannah didn’t know what to do. How to respond. Her thoughts wouldn’t, nor could, form coherent sentences. Not even in her head.

But then The Stranger smiled.

‘’Hi’’

Hi.

Hannah realized she didn’t say the word aloud, but it wouldn’t come out. Everything that came out was an incoherent sound.

The Stranger laughed, and the little girl looked up at her sister. What was her name? Oh yeah, that’s right. Lex.

Hannah smiled as she finally whispered ‘’hi’’.

The Stranger laughed again and whispered back another ‘’hi’’.

‘’Dadda, do you know her?’’

Hannah had forgotten about Lex for a brief moment, but when she heard her it hit her that The Stranger wasn’t something her mind had made up. She was real. She had a real family. Real troubles.

‘’No’’

Hannah couldn’t tear her eyes away from the ones looking back at her.

‘’But yeah, I do’’

Hannah smiled at the beautiful stranger. It seemed as if she felt the same way as Hannah. Like they knew each other, even though they hadn’t exchanged a single word with each other prior to this moment.

She looked down for a moment, biting her lower lip before looking into Hannah’s blue orbs again.

‘’Come back on a rainy day and find me’’ she grinned as she turned around and started walking hand in hand with Lex.

‘’You know, I don’t even know your name. I just call you ‘The Stranger’. The one that came into my life with no explanation’’ Hannah laughed to the back of The Stranger.

Hannah stared at the woman in front of her. She turned around, smiled and winked at Hannah.

‘’The Stranger? I like it’’ she murmured before she was gone.

Hannah was left alone yet again. But what a beautiful way to be left.


	3. Strangers wander in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still cheesy

**Strangers wander in the Dark**

2 years later

Hannah walked up the sidewalk she knew so well. It had been two years since the last time, but somehow she knew that this was when she was supposed to be there. This was when she would figure out The Stranger.  
It was raining, and the drops slid off her skin as she walked in a slow pace. They messed up her hair, and she pushed it back with shaking, numb fingers. It did nothing, of course. Her blonde locks would still fall in front of her eyes, sticking to the wet skin on her face.

She reached for the metal that once was around her neck before she remembered that it hadn’t been there for 2 years.

Oh, right.

She was going to see it again soon, though. And the thought terrified her. It terrified her that she was so nervous about seeing The Stranger again. Hearing her voice again. Touching her again.

Hannah smiled at the last thought.

She stopped when she saw a woman in front of her. Brown hair painted her shoulders and back, and denim trousers and a white T-shirt wrapped her body up. The rain made the T-shirt stick to her slim body, her sun-kissed skin.

‘’You said I should come back and find you on a rainy day’’

Hannah smiled as the brown-haired woman turned around rapidly, surprised by the sudden intrusion.

‘’I knew you’d come find me. Eventually’’ she smirked.

‘’Hi’’ she added with a grin.

‘’Hi’’ Hannah whispered back.

Her eyes were just as Hannah remembered them. Her face, her hair, the feelings, everything… It was so… Strange. It was exactly the same as Hannah remembered it to be.

‘So, I never did catch your name’’ Hannah smiled.

‘’Well, I never did catch yours either’’ The Stranger smirked coy.

‘’Hannah. Hannah Hart’’ she grinned.

‘’Hi, Hannah. I’m The Stranger. A.K.A Grace’’ she laughed.

Hannah looked down and laughed audibly.

‘’You remember’’ she said as she looked into the brown puddles again.

‘’How could I forget?’’ Grace smirked.

They were sitting on a couch in Grace’s living room. The walls were white, and covered with photos of her and a dog.

So she’s a dog person, huh? I like it, Hannah thought to herself.

‘’You want something to drink? Coffee, water, vodka?’’

Grace smiled at her and began to laugh softly at the last suggestion.

‘’Do you have tea?’’

Hannah had always been such a fan of tea, and she couldn’t even remember when she had tasted it last.

‘’Umh, no. Sorry, not quite the tea drinker. More of a beer drinker’’

Grace’s voice was so soft and full of comedy at the same time. Hannah wondered how she did that.

‘’Oh, okay. Then I’ll have some vodka, please’’

Hannah liked vodka. Vodka made all her fears and pain just slowly go away.

Grace disappeared into the kitchen for a moment before coming out with two wineglasses and a bottle of vodka.

‘’I don’t have any other clean glasses, so just pretend the vodka is wine’’

She smiled as she walked back to the couch.

‘’So… since I took you home with me, I think I want to know more about you’’

Grace poured some of the clear liquid into the two glasses and gave one to Hannah as she stared at her. Hannah was drowning, but at the same time soaring with the light feeling in her stomach when she stared back.

‘’Well, you didn’t buy me a drink first, so..’’

Hannah smiled as she waited for a reaction in Grace.

Grace started to laugh. Not a loud laugh, just audible enough that Hannah could hear it.

‘’No, but you really don’t want to hear it. It is a long story, and I don’t want to bore you’’

Hannah sighed as she said it. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell Grace. It was just that, she knew she couldn’t let someone in. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to shield herself against the oncoming pain when something would happen. And she knew something would.

‘’Well, we got all night’’

Grace tried to push Hannah. To get her guard down, but she couldn’t.

‘’No, maybe if we had more than just this night’’ Hannah playfully teased.

‘’Stay as long as you like, Hannah’’

Hannah didn’t expect those words. At least not from a person she barely knew. But then again, they knew each other.

‘’Thank you’’

Hannah didn’t know what else to say. No, I can’t stay because it will be the destruction of our silent companionship? No, that ship had already left dock and sailed away.

‘’Well, I only have one bedroom, so I’ll sleep on the couch’’

Grace smiled at her. God, that smile was so beautiful.

‘’No, you have done so much already. I can’t take your bed from-‘’

Hannah didn’t get to finish her sentence.

‘’Please, you have probably slept on the ground for God knows how long. You need a proper bed’’

Hannah exhaled slowly before nodding in response.

‘’Yeah, you’re probably right dude. But I can’t take your bed from you. I just can’t’’

Grace pursed her lips into a smirk.

‘’Well, then we’ll both sleep in the bed.’’

Hannah hid a laugh as she tried to get the conversation to another road.

‘’So… Where is Lex?’’ she smiled as she tried to look for the little girl.

Grace put down the half empty wineglass. Her eyes drained of all the playful coyness that had been there a moment ago. She looked down at her fingers and started counting them.

‘’Much has happened since we met’’ she muttered under a breath.

‘’Lex…’’ she whispered, and Hannah could tell she had a rough time saying the name aloud.

Grace looked up at Hannah with tears welling in her eyes.

‘’She… She died’’ she croaked.

Hannah put down the glass and embraced Grace.

‘’When?’’ she muffled into brown locks.

Grace placed her arms around Hannah’s upper body and let out a sob.

‘’A few months after we met you’’ she whispered, voice raspy from the oncoming storm of tears.

‘’She just wanted ice cream. Some guy hit her with his car, and just kept on driving. She died because she wanted ice cream’’ she cried into Hannah’s neck.

Hannah held on to her as she started shaking in her embrace.

She had never seen anyone crumble like this before. She hadn’t seen someone lose all happiness and hope in the matter of seconds, and she didn’t know what to do. So she just held on to Grace, making sure she didn’t fall into a pit of sorrow. Because God knows, that was what Hannah did after she lost Drew.

‘’God, I’m so sorry’’ she muttered in the brown locks.

Grace pulled away from Hannah and tried to wipe away the tears on her skin, but there was too much.

‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-‘’

Grace didn’t get to finish whatever she was going to say, because Hannah’s hands were on her cheeks. Thumbs stroking away the tears under her puffy eyes.

‘’I know what it’s like’’ she smiled sadly.

Hannah inhaled deeply before continuing.

‘’I lost my brother five years ago’’ she whispered.

Grace looked at her, sorrow filled every corner of her eyes as she opened her mouth to say something. But Hannah spoke before she got anything out.

‘’I don’t remember how it happened. I only remember his last words’’

Hannah exhaled, feeling her own tears starting to push behind her eyes.

‘’’Take this’ he said. ‘It will protect you when you are scared’. Then I watched the life run out of his eyes’’ she said, lips trembling and voice flailing.

She grabbed Grace’s hands and pulled them up to her chest.

‘’I know the pain. The thought of ‘what if’. But it’s no good. It only hinders you in going on’’ Hannah whispered, feeling one silent tear run down her own face and drip off onto the beige leather couch.

‘’The necklace’’ Grace said.

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, stating the obvious in Hannah’s words.

She pulled away one of her hands and guided it to her back pocket, drawing out a necklace with a circular metal attached to it.

‘’I think this is yours’’ she said, holding the necklace in front of Hannah.

‘’Keep it’’ Hannah smiled.

‘’It was hers’’ she added when Grace didn’t lower her hand.

Grace let the hand and the necklace fall to her lap.

‘’You know, she never did take this thing off’’ she laughed weakly.

She looked up into Hannah’s eyes, and Hannah could see how Grace’s world had crumbled the past two years. How it was still crumbling when she looked at Hannah.

‘’She wore it every day’’ she smiled.

‘’She wore it when she…’’

Grace looked down and started counting her fingers again. Hannah reached out to them, and stopped the counting. Grace looked up again, smiling weakly.

‘’When she died’’ she whispered.

‘’I’m so sorry’’ Hannah said, looking into a silent ocean and weak puddles.

‘’I don’t think I can spend every day looking at it’’ Grace said and tried to give it to Hannah once more.

‘’Keep it’’ Hannah whispered as she closed Grace’s fingers around the circular metal.

‘’I’ve got my own’’ she said as Grace looked at Hannah’s fingers lock around her own.

Hannah pulled up the sleeve of her sweater and showed Grace the ink imprinted in her skin, inside her right forearm. It was the same symbol as on the metal.

‘’You know, it doesn’t really mean ‘protect the unprotected’’’ Hannah laughed as she looked at the tattoo.

‘’It was just something he said to make me feel better’’ she smiled.

She looked at Grace again, who was still looking at the black ink.

‘’I know’’ she murmured, eyes still gazing on the tattoo.

‘’It has a triskelion in the middle’’ she smiled.

‘’The Celtic symbol of three’’ Hannah grinned.

‘’Mother, father, child’’ Grace said as she traced the symbol with her finger.

‘’Light, shadow, dark’’ Hannah breathed as she felt the warm finger on her sensitive skin.

‘’Moving on’’ Grace sighed as she looked up into Hannah’s blue orbs again.

‘’Yeah’’ Hannah whispered as the tattooed hand slid up the arm that had traced it and up to Grace’s cheek.

She closed her eyes and inched her face closer to Grace’s, let her lips wait a few centimeters away from Grace’s. Warm breath trickled her lips as she was waiting there.

What am I waiting for? She thought to herself.

‘’Maybe we shouldn’t’’ she sighed as she drew herself away from the warmth.

Grace had closed her eyes at the same time as Hannah, and now she opened them.

‘’Why?’’ she whispered with a hunger in her eyes.

‘’We don’t know each other’’ Hannah muttered.

They both knew that was a lie. They knew each other. Hannah was only scared she would be abandoned. That if they did do something Grace would realize that she had to stay away from Hannah’s problems, or else they would become her problems too.

‘’I can wait’’ Grace smirked.

‘’Yeah, I bet’’ Hannah laughed and Grace joined in.

Hannah opened her eyes.

It had all been so sudden. One minute they were walking, hand in hand, down the wavy path. And the next… She was laying on the ground, her head pushed down deep in the dirt.

She turned it to see her brother lying on his back.

‘’Drew…’’ she whispered as she saw the red blood sliding from his mouth.

She reached out her hand to touch him, and he winced at the contact. He coughed and put the necklace in her hand.

‘’Take this’’ he breathed.

‘’It will protect you when you’re scared’’ he gaged and his emerald eyes slowly became blank. It was as if the color slid out with the blood from his mouth and his hand relaxed in hers, still holding on to the necklace.

‘’Drew’’ she whispered again and closed her eyes.

She was too exhausted, too beaten, to keep herself awake.

‘’Hey! Hey, calm down’’

Hannah felt strong arms holding her down, and she opened her eyes to find Grace on top of her. Her drowsy eyes had worry seeping through them and she smiled tiredly as she rolled off of Hannah.

‘’What did you dream about? I’m pretty sure it was a nightmare by the way you winced and writhed’’ she huffed out when her back hit the mattress.

‘’Nothing. It was nothing’’ Hannah whispered while her eyes closed again.

‘’Okay, if you say so’’ Grace whispered in her ear as she put her arm around Hannah’s waist.

Hannah took a deep breath before deciding if she should tell Grace or not. She decided that she would tell her.

‘’It was Drew. I dreamed about him’’ she sighed into the pillow.

‘’Okay’’ Grace whispered.

Hannah was grateful she didn’t pursue it even further, because Hannah was not up for that right now.

‘’Just… Try to get some shut-eye, yeah?’’ she sighed drowsy in Hannah’s ear.

‘’Yeah’’


	4. B.C Loafs with a hint of Cheerios and Custard

**B.C Loafs with a hint of Cheerios and Custard**

‘’Hey, do you have any bananas and chocolate?’’

Hannah looked up from the freezer as she took out the orange juice and asked Grace.

Grace laughed and pointed to a white cabinet over the kitchen counter.

‘’Up there’’ she smiled.  
‘’What are you going to do with them?’’ she added curiously.

‘’What? You’ve never had banana and chocolate sandwiches?’’ Hannah grinned.

‘’Okay, your world is about to be revolutionized’’ she huffed out as Grace shook her head.

She found the ingredients and smeared chocolate on one piece of loaf.

‘’First you do this. Some would take the butter under the chocolate, but I’m going to butter the other piece of loaf with a thick layer instead’’ she grinned as she picked up the other piece.

She grabbed the bananas after buttering the loaf.

‘’Theeeen’’ she muttered when she cut the banana in small pieces and put them on both loaf pieces.

‘’You smash them together. And you have what I would call perfect B.C Loafs’’ she grinned.

Before them now was a completely-disgusting-looking-probably-not-very-healthy-and-probably-just-an-invitation-for-acne sandwich. But when Hannah cut it in two and handed Grace one half of it, she took a bite. And Hannah could see she was right. Grace’s world had just been revolutionized.

‘’So, for dinner I am going to make my favorite dish. Cheerios and custard’’ Hannah muffled when she took a bite of her own making.

Grace laughed, and it wasn’t anything like the laughs Hannah had seen from her before. It was a completely awkward, completely adorable full body laugh. And it made Hannah laugh with her.

‘’You truly are something for yourself’’ she muttered out in between her fits of laughs.

‘’So, tell me more about you’’ Grace said looking down in her bowl filled to the brink with cheerios and custard.

Hannah looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out where to start.

‘’Well’’ she breathed.

‘’My father is ex-military’’ she sighed.

She wasn’t sure if she would be able to tell the entire story, so she decided to tell bits and pieces.

‘’He was captured by a hostile camp on his last trip. He was tortured and forced to torture other people. He maimed them. He even killed some. And when he got home, he was so damaged that he didn’t stop’’ she said, feeling the normal push behind her eyes.

‘’So, one day, when I turned 18, I decided to leave. And that’s when I met you and Lex’’ Hannah smiled at the memory.

‘’Ever since then I have just wandered around aimlessly. That was until I came here a few weeks ago’’ she smiled to Grace who was listening curiously.

‘’Is that the whole story?’’ Grace asked, still pretty curious.

‘’For now’’ Hannah exhaled slowly.

‘’Okay’’ Grace whispered as she looked down in her bowl again.

Hannah reached out and put her hand on Grace’s.

‘’What about you? What’s your story?’’ she asked, trying to look into Grace’s eyes.

‘’Oh, nothing exiting really’’ she said looking up at Hannah.

‘’Oh, I’m pretty sure it is’’ Hannah murmured.

Grace smiled and looked down at Hannah’s hand on top of hers. Her thumb was stroking around Grace’s ring, and Grace was mesmerized by it.

‘’Well, I was born and raised in Austin. I moved to Seattle 4 years ago with my family because my mum got cancer and got transferred to a doctor here. She died a few months after, and I lived in this apartment with Lex until she died as well. And now I’m on my own. 23 years old and living alone’’

‘’What about your father?’’ Hannah wondered.

‘’I… never really knew him. He died in a car crash when I was two years old’’ she smiled.

But Hannah could easily see that this smile was forced. There wasn’t any happiness put in it, and how could it? This woman had lost her entire family to the grim reaper, and no one had been around to help her through it.

Hannah drew Grace’s hand up and kissed the back of it.

‘’I’m so sorry, Grace’’ she sighed.

‘’It’s okay. I’ve learned to deal with it’’ she said while exhaling softly.

‘’No one should have to learn to deal with it’’ Hannah whispered, gazing into the sadness of stars and oceans.

Grace shrugged and took a spoonful of the dinner into her mouth.

‘’You’re right; this is truly good’’ she smiled, mouth filled with cheerios and custard.

‘’I know, right?’’ Hannah grinned.

‘’What would you do without me?’’ she smirked as she leaned against the back of the chair. She picked up her bowl and was about to eat when she heard Grace try to scream something. But she couldn’t make it out, because suddenly she was lying on the floor covered in the bowls contents.

‘’-lean on it’’

Grace finished her sentence in shock, and it quickly turned into a laugh. Like… a real laugh. She threw her head back and slammed to the floor herself in her little laughing seizure.

‘’Glad you find me funny’’ Hannah mumbled as she got to her feet.

‘’Hey, Grace?’’ she said when she looked around herself.

‘’What?’’ Grace managed to huff out.

‘’Umh, sorry about your floor?’’ Hannah said pursing her lips down in half a smile, half shock.

This shut Grace up for a few seconds before another laugh erupted from her.

‘’It’s okay’’

‘’Also, do you have a shirt I could borrow? I don’t have any clean ones’’

Still rolling on the floor Grace managed to get out ‘’yeah’’, and she got up only to see her floor. And she cracked in another laugh.

‘’Yeah, I get it. I’m funny’’ Hannah smiled.

‘’So, so funny’’ Grace grinned.

‘’Here’’ Grace said turning around to give the shirt to Hannah. The smile on her lips faded as she looked at Hannah, on her stomach.

‘’Why are you looking at me like that?’’ Hannah smiled, but then she remembered.

Fuck!

It was the only thought swirling around in her head as Grace stepped into her personal space and traced her fingers along the marks in Hannah’s skin.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

‘’Don’t’’ she whispered as she grabbed Grace’s hand. She pushed it away and released it when Grace looked up in her eyes. Worry and pity evident in hazel-brown and blue.

‘’Just… don’t’’ she whispered again when Grace’s eyes didn’t shy away from her own.

Grace swung her arms around Hannah’s shoulder and drew her in for a tight hug. She tightened her grip when Hannah tried to pull away and Hannah gave in. She put her arms on Grace’s back and let out a sob.

She didn’t know why she was crying. But she guessed it was because this was the only person that avoided her curse. Even when she remembered the awful memories she felt, Grace’s touch was comfortable. Her hands were so different from those that haunted her dreams. They were small and soft and… Grace.

Grace let go of Hannah and sat down on the bed.

Hannah followed her. She wasn’t quite ready to let go of Grace’s touch yet, so she climbed on top of the bed and crawled behind Grace’s back. She shifted and sat down, her legs surrounding Grace’s waist. She placed her chin on Grace’s shoulder and put her arms around her stomach.

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ Grace whispered as she put her hands on top of Hannah’s.

Hannah put her nose in the brown locks cascading Grace’s neck and shoulders.

‘’No. Can we just sit like this for a while?’’ she muffled into them.

Grace closed her eyes and nodded her head.

‘’Yeah. Yeah, we can do that’’


	5. Embraces soften the Strongest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still very cheesy...

**Embraces soften the Strongest**

She didn’t quite know how she ended up there. Standing in front of the apartment building she knew all too well. But without her key.

The cement below her feet was welcoming, but she was scared that the building wouldn’t be as welcoming as the cement when she had to be buzzed in.  
But still, she walked over to the doorbell and pressed the one saying ‘’Helbig & Hart’’.

There was no answer and Hannah wondered if she should just walk away. If she should spare Grace the pain of having her in her life.

But then the intercom had a voice in it.

‘’Who is it?’’

Hannah froze for a second before replying.

‘’Hannah’’

‘’Where’s you key?’’ Grace asked seriously.

Great. First day of having a key to their apartment, and she lost it.

‘’Umh… I’m not sure. I may have left it upstairs’’ she muttered into the intercom.

The door in front of her buzzed open and Hannah rested her hand on the door handle.

Should I do this, or should I just walk away while I still can?

She pressed down the door handle and went inside. She walked up the stairs, slowly, and kept walking until she reached apartment 12.

The door was open.

Hannah walked over the threshold and was met with a girl dressed in sweatpants and a tank top. Her hair was sat up in a messy bun, and her hands were frying bacon. It smelled fantastic, and when Grace turned around to meet Hannah’s gazing eyes she smiled.

The smile gave Hannah little butterflies in her stomach.

Stop it! Don’t do that, why are you doing that?

Somehow Grace always managed to make Hannah feel like one of those teenagers that went singing to the moon about how great their lives were. Only that Hannah’s life wasn’t all that great. At least not before Grace rushed into it.

‘’Hey, I’m making egg and bacon. You want some?’’

Hannah sniffed in the smell once more as she grinned to her friend.

‘’Oh, do I! It smells like happiness’’

They both smiled of Hannah’s cheesiness.

She always managed to say awkward things in Grace’s presence, but she didn’t oppose to it. Because as it seemed; Grace enjoyed it.

Hannah sat down on the chair beside the sink and watched as Grace ran back and forth to fry the food and do the dishes at the same time.

‘’Do you want anything to drink? Water, iced tea, beer-’’

Hannah smiled at the flailing limbs in the kitchen as Grace slipped and fell on her rear.

‘’Just water, please’’ she muttered under her laugh when she helped Grace off of the floor.

‘’You know you can get a beer, right? I’m not mad. Okay, maybe I’m a little mad‘’ Grace murmured while putting her slim arms around Hannah’s waist.

‘’What are you doing?’’

‘’I forgot to say hi to you’’ she smiled as she drew Hannah in for a tight hug.

‘’Hi’’ she muttered against Hannah’s neck.

‘’Hi’’ Hannah whispered back.

It felt nice to have someone embrace her like that. No one had done it before Grace, and she must have felt somewhat of a hesitation from Hannah once again, because she pulled her in even closer.

Hannah could feel every curve of Grace’s body against her own, and it made her dizzy. Why did it make her dizzy? Why did she want to… No, she couldn’t. She couldn’t do that! This was her best friend and-

‘’What are you thinking about?’’

Grace wasn’t laughing anymore. Maybe she noticed Hannah’s minor panic attack, or maybe she remembered the scars in Hannah’s skin and her curse. She didn’t know.

‘’Nothing’’ Hannah whispered into brown locks.

But it wasn’t nothing. It was far from nothing. It was things that Hannah had never known before. Things she had never felt.

Just the touch from Grace’s hands elicited sparks within Hannah.

‘’And you know I’m not actually mad at you, right?’’ Grace murmured into Hannah’s ear.

‘’You sure?’’ Hannah laughed into brown locks.

‘’Because you seem very mad’’ she grinned as Grace leaned back.

‘’Eat me’’ Grace laughed as she gave Hannah’s shoulder a nudge.

Hannah opened her mouth to come with a totally inappropriate, totally cheesy joke, but all she could think about was the butterflies that appeared with Grace’s words.

Why are you doing that? Stop doing that.

‘’Jeez, buy a girl a drink first’’ she finally managed to muster out. Grace grinned and nudged her shoulder again.

They always did that. The flirting part, but lately it had elicited feelings that Hannah didn’t even know she had. Like the dizziness and the butterflies and just everything.

‘’And oh… Here’s your key’’ Grace smiled as she grabbed them from on top of the microwave.

‘’You forgot it this morning’’ she added when Hannah mustered out ‘’thank God’’.

‘’Hey’’ Grace shouted in mock shock.

‘’Do not thank the Gods. Thank me. If I hadn’t seen them, they would still be in the freezer’’ she laughed.

‘’The freezer? Again?’’ Hannah laughed. She had always managed to put Grace’s keys in there as well, but she really thought she had managed to stop doing it.

‘’Yeah’’ Grace grinned as she returned to her previous administrations.

‘’Bacon extra fried and crispy, right?’’ she shouted from over her shoulder.

Hannah walked up to her and put her arms around her waist.

‘’Yes, please’’ she smiled as she put her chin on Grace’s shoulder.

Grace put her free hand on top of Hannah’s and smiled.

‘’You know, our neighbor told me today that we look like a married couple. He asked me where my wife was when I took out the trash’’ Grace grinned, tracing small patterns on Hannah’s hand.

‘’Oh yeah? And what did you say?’’ Hannah smirked while looking down at the bacon.

‘’That we weren’t married’’ she laughed.

‘’Really? So now the neighbors think we are a lesbian couple?’’ Hannah sighed contently.

‘’Well, yes’’ Grace huffed out, laughing uncontrollably.

Hannah thought about it for a moment. They were always flirting and touching. They behaved like a couple, so why wouldn’t people believe they were?

‘’Well, maybe we are’’ Hannah said thoughtful.

Grace slid her fingers in between Hannah’s and rested them there.

‘’What do you mean?’’ she asked, a smile still painting her lips.

‘’Maybe we are’’ Hannah repeated, smiling shyly.

‘’Oh yeah?’’ Grace laughed.

‘’Yeah’’ Hannah whispered back.

‘’Except we don’t kiss’’ Grace smirked while removing the bacon from the pan.

‘’Yeah’’ Hannah smiled as she turned Grace around.

‘’Yet’’ she grinned as she leaned in closer, feeling Grace’s breath mingle with her own.

She didn’t know who leaned in all the way, who kissed who first, but they did. They kissed and then… Nothing. Hannah felt nothing. Saw nothing. Thought nothing. Nothing.

‘’Hannah’’

The voice was distant, coming from somewhere she couldn’t reach. And it was dark around her. So dark.

‘’Hey, Hannah’’

She opened her eyes to see a flustered Grace hovering above her.

‘’Are you okay?’’

Hannah tried to sit up, but everything hurt. It hurt so much.

She brought one of her hands to brush through her hair, and winced at the contact.

‘’What happened?’’ she muttered tiredly.

‘’One minute you kissed me, and the next you just… fell’’ Grace said, worry seeping out with her words.

‘’Fuck’’ Hannah mumbled as she sat up. Her body ached and screamed when she moved, but the floor was so uncomfortable.

‘’What was that?’’ Grace asked.

‘’Nothing. It just happens from time to time’’ Hannah said as she closed her eyes.

Grace took a deep breath before speaking.

‘’No, I meant the kiss’’

Hannah opened her eyes, panic sweeping through her bones. Oh. The kiss. Right.

‘’Oh’’

‘’But that too’’ Grace said after a moment.

‘’If I remember correctly; you kissed me back’’ Hannah smiled as she looked up into Grace’s eyes.

Grace laughed and looked away. She bit her lower lip nervously and looked back into Hannah’s blue eyes.

‘’Well… Yes’’ she smiled.

‘’And…’’

‘’What?’’ Hannah asked when Grace looked away again.

‘’It’s ridiculous. Never mind’’ she laughed and leaned her back against the stove.

‘’No, what?’’ Hannah smiled, lying in Grace’s lap with Grace’s fingers stroking her arms.

‘’And I kinda wanna do it again’’ she mumbled when she looked back at Hannah.

‘’The kissing part I mean’’ she added when Hannah just grinned at her.

‘’Not the ‘you falling in my arms and then on the floor’ part’’

Hannah sat up and whispered:

‘’Come here’’

Lips met lips again, and Hannah shifted her body so she was now straddling the other woman. She threw her arm around Grace’s neck and kissed her deeper.


	6. Nobody has to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> still cheesy? still cheesy....

**Nobody has to Know**

They were lying in bed.

Limbs entangled, eyes drowsy and fingers intertwined.

The silence was mesmerizing. Beautiful even. Until Grace broke it.

‘’Han, I have a boyfriend’’

It was as simple as that, and the silence wasn’t comfortable anymore. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t peaceful or beautiful. It was unbearable.

Hannah opened her mouth in a faint attempt to speak, but nothing came out. Just silence.  
They say there are 1,025,109.8 words in the English language, and Hannah couldn’t find one that fit with this moment. So she settled for the first thing that came to mind.

‘’Oh’’

Oh? Really? Oh? That was the best you could think off?

She cursed herself while clenching her eyes shut.

She wanted nothing more than to untangle herself from the limbs locked with her own, but she couldn’t do it. It was so strange. She wanted to get away, but she also wanted to stay.

She turned her face into the nearest pillow when Grace opened her mouth again.

‘’And I’m scared’’

Hannah opened her eyes and looked at Grace. Her brown puddles were staring at the white roof over them, and her arm rested under her head.

‘’Why are you scared?’’

Hannah almost didn’t dare to speak. Sure, the silence had become uncomfortable, but she would be even more uncomfortable if Grace was to continue her earlier statement. Especially if it meant that Hannah had to leave into the unknown.

Grace let a tear slide from the crook of her eye and behind her ear.

Hannah had almost given up the possibility of any response when she heard the whisper.

‘’Because I really want to kiss you’’

Grace laughed. It was stupid. This whole thing was stupid, she thought to herself. And she wanted so badly to cry, but she wasn’t going to do that, so she settled for a laugh.

Hannah stared at her. The Stranger that had rushed into her life when she needed something so much. The Stranger that was no longer a stranger to Hannah’s heart.

How could she laugh at this? This was serious. This was bad. But it could also be something good.

‘’I just wish we had met at a different point in our lives’’ Grace muttered under a shaky breath.

Hannah stared at her, and Grace turned to face the waves in front of her.

‘’I think that if we had; we could have been something good, you know?’’

Hannah cupped Grace’s cheek with her shaking hand, and Grace let her own hand wander and rest on top of Hannah’s.

‘’We are’’ Hannah whispered into the air between them.

‘’No, we’re not’’

‘’But maybe one day. One day when I can kiss you without feeling guilty. One day when we are both at peace’’

Grace looked away. She stared into the ceiling again.

‘’Promise me that day will come’’ Hannah whispered as a single tear ran down and dripped onto the white pillow below her.

‘’I don’t know. But I do know that that day is not today. But still; I really want to kiss you’’

Grace shifted on the bed and Hannah was facing her back.

‘’Nobody needs to know’’

Hannah whispered it, inches away from Grace’s body.

She didn’t know where it came from. It wasn’t intentional. She didn’t want to fuck up whatever they had together.

She wasn’t sure if by ‘’they’’ she meant Grace and her boyfriend, or Grace and herself.

Hannah shifted and hovered her lips over Grace’s shoulder. Her hand traced small circles from Grace’s hip and down her toned stomach.

Hannah never wanted to stop feeling the skin beneath her gentle strokes. So soft and just so Grace.

‘’This is a kiss, right?’’

She placed her lips softly on Grace’s skin, and she heard the broken breaths escaping Grace’s mouth.

When she felt the damp skin under her lips she never wanted to shy away. Every day things like eating, drinking and going to the toilet seemed completely unnecessary when she could just lay there and feel Grace against her lips. And God, she wanted to do so much more than just feel her skin against her closed lips.

Hannah pulled away, and immediately something was missing. Her lips went cold and.. and..

She couldn’t describe the feeling. She only knew that there was something missing from them.

‘’But I need more’’

The whisper was pleading, and Hannah didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say.

So she came closer to Grace’s body. She could feel the warmth through their clothes, and it drove her insane.

She stretched over Grace’s shoulder with her head and hovered over her face.

‘’This is a kiss’’ she whispered as she closed her eyes and rested her lips on Grace’s cheek.

She felt Grace relax under her lips, and suddenly she was gone from them.

Hannah opened her eyes and looked right into deep brown orbs.

‘’They’re just band aids. Ghosts of the real thing’’ she whispered.

Hannah felt Grace’s breath travel across her own lips. Warm. Shaking.

Hannah was driven by insanity as she tore herself away from Grace’s gaze. The puddles had flickered down to Hannah’s lips, and it was all just too much for her to handle.

Grace brought her hand to Hannah’s cheek, drawing her head back to her gaze as she whispered Hannah’s desperate words.

‘’Nobody needs to know’’

Hannah looked at Grace’s lips.

‘’What about your boyfriend?’’

Hannah realized she hadn’t even heard his name. Grace hadn’t told her his name. Maybe she wanted this- no, needed this- as much as Hannah did. Maybe he was insignificant in comparison to her.

‘’He doesn’t need to know’’ she whispered with closed eyes.

‘’Are you sure?’’

Hannah didn’t dare to look up into Grace’s eyes, so she settled with looking on teeth biting a lower lip nervously.

After what seemed like forever she heard a whisper.

‘’Yeah’’

That was it. That was what drove Hannah over the edge. That was the reason she couldn’t hold back anymore.

She lunged forward and locked her trembling lips with Grace’s.

It was softer than what she thought. More gentle. Loving. There was nothing rash about the way their lips moved in sync with each other. Nothing harsh or desperate.

At first.

But then the hunger for more came, and they both tried to close every gap of air in between them.

Broken I love you’s were whispered whenever lips withdrew. Panting breaths escaping with every touch between them. Painted touches that lingered when the hands had withdrawn. Soft, wet kisses on sensitive, sun-kissed skin. Hannah never wanted the rush, the feelings and the contact between them to disappear.

-

Hannah felt something heavy on her chest as it heaved up and down. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t painful. It was just there. Reminding her of everything that had happened the night before. The skin. The lips. The touches. Everything.

She opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was the yellow ray of light shooting through the room. The second thing she saw was brown locks painting the skin above her breast. The third thing was eyes looking at her with content.

Such beautiful eyes staring into her own.

‘’Hi’’ she said, her voice groggy from the night’s events.

‘’Hi’’ Hannah whispered.

‘’What time is it?’’ she added while stretching her tired arms.

‘’I don’t know’’ Grace whispered kissing Hannah’s skin.

Hannah smiled. Everything was perfect. The bed was perfect. The sun was perfect. The dense smell from the night before was perfect. The silence that fell over them was perfect.

Hannah had nearly fallen asleep again when Grace’s voice woke her.

‘’Han, I have to leave’’

Hannah cursed herself for asking, but she couldn’t help herself.

‘’Are you going to see him?’’

Grace’s eyes were eager to shy away from Hannah’s gaze and Hannah felt the feelings of anger and disappointment arise in her bones. She felt betrayed, even though Grace didn’t betray her. She betrayed him.

It was as if the broken I love you’s whispered between them the previous night didn’t mean anything. And maybe it didn’t. At least not to Grace. But they meant the world to Hannah.

‘’That’s that? You’re just going to crawl up to him and pretend that nothing has happened? That you love him?’’

Grace turned away from Hannah and got out of bed. She bowed down and picked up her shirt.

‘’Hannah, please. Can we talk about this when I get back?’’

Hannah scoffed and turned her piercing orbs to the window. She hoped that her gaze would burn a hole in the glass to let her anger out.

‘’Don’t bother Grace. I won’t be here then. So you and your boyfriend can go back to loving each other while you are screwing people behind his back. God, Grace! You didn’t even bother to tell me his name’’

Hannah had turned to look at Grace. She wanted to see the shame in her eyes, but all she saw was panic as she walked towards her.

‘’Please, can we just talk about it later? Promise me you will still be here when I get home?’’

Her voice was so pleading, her eyes so sad, it was impossible for Hannah to refuse her.

‘’Okay’’ she whispered.

She cursed herself for letting Grace have this hold over her. For letting her swirl Hannah around her finger.

‘’Okay’’ she whispered again as she turned away and closed her eyes.

There was a light kiss on her forehead before silence caught up with the room.

When Hannah opened her eyes, Grace was gone. She was left alone yet again.

‘’Okay’’

-

Hannah opened her eyes when she heard the door close.

Ah, fuck! My back stings!

She realized that she was sitting against the bedroom wall on the other side of the bed. How long had she been there? She remembered sitting down there, thinking about everything that had happened, when Grace had left. She looked at her wrist clock. 4 hours ago. That’s when Grace left. 4 hours she had been sitting there. Had she been sleeping?

‘’Hannah?’’ Grace asked.

‘’You still here?’’

Hannah heard her take a few steps into the room and come to a halt when she didn’t see Hannah anywhere in there. There was the sound of a plastic bag being dropped onto the mattress.

‘’I bought bananas and chocolate and loaf’’ she whispered.

Really? She thought everything would be okay because she bought the ingredients to her favorite sandwich?

Hannah dragged herself up on her feet and watched Grace’s back. She was sitting on the bed, head resting on her knee.

‘’His name was Alex’’ she muffled into her trousers after a while.

‘’Was?’’ Hannah asked confused.

Grace let out a shaky breath as she straightened her back.

‘’Yeah, I ended it’’

‘’It was the right thing to do’’ she added.

Hannah eyed her as she slowly sat down on the side opposite of Grace. She turned her head and looked down at her fidgeting fingers.

‘’Yeah, it probably was’’ she muttered.

There was the silence again. Not the pleasant one. The unpleasant one. Hannah looked up and out the window. She could see kids playing around the playground. A boy jumped off the swing set and fell. He started crying, and Hannah felt like she should do something similar. But she only felt emptied. There was nothing more inside her as she asked her next question.

‘’Why did you end it?’’

She kept staring at the little boy as she waited for an answer.

‘’I don’t know. It didn’t feel right’’

She could tell Grace was uncomfortable, but Hannah felt as if she owed her as much.

‘’So what now?’’ Hannah whispered, still gazing on the boy. There was a little girl beside him now, helping him stand.

‘’What?’’ was whispered back.

Hannah looked down at her fingers again as the boy was guided away from the playground.

‘’Us’’

It was barely audible, but she knew that Grace had heard it.

‘’I don’t know’’ Grace breathed.

Hannah turned around to still see the back of Grace.

‘’I think we may need some rules’’ she said, her voice stern.

She could see Grace’s head fall a little at the suggestion.

‘’Rules?’’ she whispered.

‘’Yeah, I’ve done some thinking. And I don’t think ‘us’ is such a good idea’’

Hannah turned to the window again.

‘’At least not right now’’ she added.

‘’Okay’’ was whispered behind her.

Silence rested between them yet again, and Hannah couldn’t handle it. So she opened her mouth to ask a much simpler thing.

‘’So you bought B.C Loafs?’’

It was such an insignificant thing, but it lightened the mood by some.

‘’And Cheerios and custard’’ Grace smiled.

‘’Okay’’


	7. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yep, still cheesy...

**Moments**

‘’No!’’

Hannah laughed as Grace pointed at the screen and said: ‘’Yep! She has to be!’’.

They were looking at a new movie with an ‘’uprising Hollywood star’’ in it. This girl called Shibvan Lasacur was the main character, and they had a heated discussion about her.

‘’No way. No way she is gay!’’ Hannah grinned.

‘’What, like you didn’t look at me and said: ‘Well, there goes my chance. She can’t like girls’?’’

Hannah lost the playful grin on her lips and looked away.

‘’Sorry, Han. I forgot’’ Grace muttered under her breath.

She put down the bowl filled with cheerios and custard and placed her hand on Hannah’s thigh. Hannah immediately shifted under her touch and turned to face Grace.

‘’Rules’’ she said between gritted teeth.

Grace withdrew her hand and whispered ‘’I know’’.

It was 7 weeks since The Incident. That’s what Hannah called it. The night when they had crumbled beneath each other. And when they had set up a set of rules that applied to whenever they were together.

Hannah brought forth the piece of paper.

Rules regarding Miss Hart and Miss Helbig

§1 No touching

_ Exception: 1. When hugs are initiated. 2. When one needs comfort_

§2 No kissing

_ No exceptions_

§3 No lying in bed together

_ Exception: 1. If the couch or bed is destroyed. 2. If there has been a party, and the couch or bed has been dirtied. _

§4 Have at least 3 inches between bodies at all times

_ Exception: Look at §1._

§5 No talking about The Incident.

_ No exceptions_

She pointed to §1.

‘’The first rule, Grace. You managed to break the first rule’’

Grace looked at her bowl.

‘’I’m sorry, Hannah. But in all fairness, it is the hardest one to uphold’’

‘’I know. But they’re there for a reason’’ Hannah whispered.

Hannah opened her eyes when her phone started buzzing, but she didn’t want to face the light from the screen. So she just turned it around and waited for the buzzing to stop. And it did eventually. And she closed her eyes again.

She had nearly driven off into a deep slumber when the phone buzzed again.

Fuck, just let me sleep, she thought to herself as she groaned and picked up the phone. It buzzed once more in her hand and she saw she had four unread messages. All of them from Grace.

I miss you. Even though I just saw you. And I could just walk through the door to see you again.

But that would be breaking the rules, right?

I probably shouldn’t text you right now, because that is also breaking the rules. Right?

Right. I’m sorry.

Hannah unlocked her phone and another text buzzed in. Wow, Grace was certainly wide awake right now.

I think I’m going to stop texting you now.

Hannah blinked her eyes for a few seconds to try and wake herself up a bit. And yet another text buzzed in.

I’m sorry.

Hannah began to type out an answer, but she didn’t really know what to type. So she settled for the easiest.

_No, It’s okay. _

But it wasn’t really the easiest. The easiest would have been to tell Grace to go to sleep, but now she invited a conversation she was sure she didn’t want to have.

You sure?

This was her way out. If she only told Grace to go to sleep now, everything would be okay. She looked at her phone, only to learn that she had already typed out and sent an answer.

Yeah, I can’t sleep anyways.

_Really? Can’t you sleep? Really? You were just sound asleep, not a worry in your head. _Hannah cursed herself as she waited for an answer.

Are you mad at me?

She tried to think for a moment. Was she mad at Grace? Or was she mad at the situation. She decided that she was mad at the situation.

No, dude. Of course I’m not mad at you.

She put the phone down on her chest and closed her eyes again, hoping that Grace had fallen asleep. But of course she hadn’t.

Then come in here and sleep in the bed. The couch is horrid!

Hannah sighed deeply and started typing.

Grace… The Rules.

She hit send and thought that maybe Grace would let it go now. But of course she didn’t.

I know.

I know, but I don’t like them. You know?

Hannah read the last two words and wrote:

Yeah

Because; Yeah, she knew. She knew exactly what Grace meant, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there for a reason.

She hit send and got up from the couch. She started walking towards the bedroom and sat down outside it for a while. She heard something shift against the other side and realized that Grace had done the same.

‘’I know’’ she muttered sleepy to the body on the other side.

‘’I know too’’ Grace slurred through tired lips.

They sat like that for a while, listening to the other’s breathing, and Hannah thought that maybe Grace had fallen asleep. But after a while she heard her shift again and the door slowly opened.

Hannah looked up into heavy lids and whispered:

‘’The couch is broken’’

‘’Okay’’

After that there were many beds and couches that were broken, and Hannah fell into a rhythm of feeling Grace beside her wherever she was. Not skin against skin, but warmth reaching out between them. They upheld the other rules. They didn’t kiss. They didn’t talk about The Incident. They always had some space between them, but they had to feel the warmth radiating from the other person.

They felt more comfortable around each other. Small administrations like touching a thigh, or hugging were not so bad. Until they were.

There were moments when awkwardness and unresolved feeling showed themselves. Like when a touch lingered for a moment too long. Or when a hug was tighter than it should be. As if they were afraid they would never get to be in each other’s embrace again. It was moments like those that made it so unbearable to live with each other. To look at each other, but never get to really look. It was like having a bomb in their chests, ready to explode at any second and obliterate everything around them.

‘’You know what would be really good right now?’’ Hannah slurred through numb lips.

‘’Another shot of tequila?’’ Grace laughed.

‘’No’’ she smiled as Grace poured liquid in the two shot glasses. No, but it would be good that too.

‘’No, a bowl with cheerios and custard’’ she grinned as Grace handed her one of the shots. They poured it down and Hannah couldn’t feel the burning sensation in her throat anymore.

She got up from the couch and started walking towards the kitchen. Well, walking wasn’t the right word. She wasn’t walking at all. She was stumbling. Fighting to keep her body in a standing-walking position.

Grace tried to help her, but she soon realized that walking was a rather hard concept after this many shots. And helping another person walk when you couldn’t walk yourself was also a rather hard thing to do.

But they managed to stumble into the kitchen with limbs flying in the air. And somehow they managed to pour the ingredients into two clean bowls.

Hannah pushed herself on top of the kitchen counter because she was tired of trying to stand. So she settled for sitting, and Grace leaned over her bowl.

‘’You know’’ she said thoughtful.

‘’It’s not the kiss itself that is the best part’’ she continued and looked up at Hannah.

‘’It’s the moments leading up to it’’ she said while she left her bowl and walked in between Hannah’s legs.

‘’It’s…’’

Grace grabbed the bowl out of Hannah’s hands and put it on the kitchen counter. She looked up into blue orbs, staring back with an undistinguished look in them, as she put her hands on Hannah’s thighs. She stroked her fingers up to Hannah’s hips and traced small circles there.

‘’The touches’’ she smiled sheepishly.

She inched closer, still holding Hannah’s gaze.

‘’The expectations’’ she whispered staring into the blue before her.

‘’The warm breath sweeping over lips’’ she sighed as her breath trickled Hannah’s parted lips.

Grace closed her eyes, and Hannah kept looking at her face. All she could think was ‘’Rules, rules, rules. We are breaking The Rules’’, but all she wanted to do was give in to the mouth that was so close to her own. She wanted to shred the piece of paper and forget The Rules were ever in the equation.

‘’The feeling of the world disappearing’’ Grace whispered inching even closer to Hannah.

‘’Feeling how close you are’’

‘’Don’t’’ Hannah whispered as her hand traveled through brown locks. She clenched her fist in Grace’s hair and intended to push her away. But all she could do was stay as she was. Sitting on the cold surface with Grace between her legs. Their bodies so close it ached not to feel them together.

‘’Don’t’’ she whispered again as Grace brushed her lips against Hannah’s.

‘’The Rules…’’ she whispered, but they both knew it was long past breaking them. They both knew neither of them really cared about the piece of paper anymore. They were way to drunk, and this had been a long-time coming.

‘’I know’’ Grace sighed before placing her lips against Hannah’s once again. She didn’t withdraw, and they stayed like that for a while. Feeling soft skin against one another. But then Hannah shifted hers slightly and Grace realized that Hannah was kissing her. And then she was kissing her back.

Lips parted and tongues pushed against each other. Grace moved her hand from Hannah’s hip and to somewhere behind her, never actually touching Hannah’s back. Then it cupped Hannah’s cheek. But it wasn’t a sensation of soft skin against hers. It was… something different entirely.

Hannah pulled away from Grace and leaned her hands against the cold and flat surface.

‘’I thought the best part wasn’t the kiss’’ she breathed.

‘’I know, but with you; everything is the best part’’ Grace grinned, her voice raspy.

It was cheesy. It was so, so cheesy, but Hannah wanted cheesy right now. Cheesy was funny. Cheesy was something you could laugh off. Only, they couldn’t really laugh this off. Because here they were, so close and so careless.

‘’You’ve got something there’’ Grace laughed and pointed to Hannah’s cheek.

‘’What?’’ she smiled, her eyes heavy and her expression turning into disbelief when she realized what Grace’s hand had brought with it.

‘’You didn’t’’ she laughed in mock shock when her fingers ran over warm chocolate. Because of course she did.

‘’Let me help you with it’’ Grace murmured as she nodded her head.

She put the chocolate-free hand in Hannah’s blonde hair and licked up her cheek. She grazed her teeth against damp skin to get it all away.

Hannah grinned as she reached behind herself and dipped her fingers in melted chocolate. With Grace still removing the one on her face Hannah smeared some on Grace’s throat. Grace hummed at the sensation and it sent shivers down Hannah’s spine.

She leaned back, and smirked.

‘’Oh, payback, huh?’’ Grace smiled, coyness written in every feature.

‘’Mhm’’ Hannah hummed as she leaned in to Grace’s throat.

She bit down and Grace threw her head back, grinning foolishly. Hannah traced a pattern with her tongue and sucked gently as she tried to remove every last bit of chocolate. And when there was nothing left, she kept on kissing Grace’s skin. She remembered the thought she had during The Incident. The thought of never wanting to do anything else than feel the damp skin beneath her lips, and the feeling was just as strong now.

She placed open-mouth kisses along Grace’s jaw and up to her ear.

‘’Payback’s a bitch’’ she whispered and felt Grace shiver underneath her lips when she placed them on her skin again.

Hannah put her legs around Grace’s waist and locked them, holding her in place. Because somewhere deep inside Hannah’s skin; she was afraid that Grace would disappear. She was afraid that Grace would leave her, in this heated moment, when she had finally thrown all caution to the wind. And that fright terrified her even more.

She heard Grace inhale deeply when Hannah bit down the slightest on her jaw. And then lips met lips again in a frenzied kiss.

Suddenly Hannah wasn’t sitting on the kitchen counter anymore. She was flying mid-air in Grace’s arms, and then she was horizontal. Grace was lying on top of her, her lips still locked with Hannah’s. And Hannah thought to herself that this was a better way to be right now. Bodies pushed together. Damp skin slightly sticking together where it was exposed. And hands, God the hands were everywhere. Touching every aching part of Hannah’s skin.

Hannah scraped at Grace’s scalp, and it elicited a mix of a pleasuring moan and a disbelieving laugh.

‘’Why did it take this long?’’ Grace mumbled against Hannah’s lips.

‘’Because you are ruining the mood with those questions’’ Hannah panted back.

‘’Oh, so there is a mood?’’ Grace grinned into the kiss.

‘’Shut up’’ Hannah laughed and rolled them around so she was lying on top of Grace.

She stroked Grace’s stomach. Her hip. The outside of her thigh, and when she reached her knee she pulled it up and behind her own. She withdrew from Grace’s lips and grinned. Gazing into the brown before her she pushed one lock of sweaty hair behind Grace’s ear.

‘’I’ve missed this feeling. The feeling of you underneath me’’ she whispered. And it was true. She had missed it every second of every day. The way Grace’s chest heaved under Hannah’s body. The way her skin felt against Hannah’s. The way her eyes shone when she looked up at Hannah.

‘’I know’’ Grace whispered, playing with the hem on the back of Hannah’s shirt.

‘’Me too’’

Grace slid her fingers under the hem of Hannah’s shirt and scratched slightly on her humid skin, and Hannah bit down on a kiss-swollen lower lip.

She rocked her hips once in between Grace’s legs, and a groan escaped Grace’s lips.

Hannah smiled smugly at the brown haired woman beneath her, and she was thanking the Gods that they were laying on the floor. Because she was pretty sure that her legs were too wobbly to stand. She didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or giving in to everything she had wanted to do for the past seven months, but she went with the last one.

‘’I love you’’ she whispered as Grace guided one of Hannah’s hand down her stomach.

‘’I love you too’’


	8. Hannah's Last Farewell

**Hannah’s last Farewell**

‘’Where are we going?’’

Grace laughed as she awkwardly tried to place one foot in front of the other. But it was rather hard when the only thing she saw was the inside of a bandana, and the only thing to guide her was flailing limbs that weren’t designed to help anyone steady themselves.

‘’Just a few more minutes’’ Hannah grinned towards the brown haired woman beside her.

It took everything she had not to kiss those smiling lips as they walked, but she knew that would cause a fall. And they couldn’t fall right now, because right here… right now… it had to be perfect.

‘’Almost there’’ Hannah laughed.

They came to a stop and Hannah removed the black cloth from Grace’s eyes.

‘’We’re here’’ she smiled while gazing into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

She intertwined her fingers with Grace’s and leaned in for a kiss.

‘’For good measure’’ she murmured with her eyes closed.

Grace laughed as Hannah took a few steps backwards.

‘’What are-‘’

Grace didn’t get to finish her sentence because Hannah brought up her index finger and mustered a weak sentence.

‘’Wait for it’’ she whispered.

‘’What are we waiting for?’’ Grace grinned.

‘’That’’ Hannah said gazing into the sky. The first drop hit her hand and she lowered her gaze to Grace’s. Soon the rain started pouring down on them, and Hannah put her hand in her pocket. Her fingers played with the red velvet box as she smiled.

‘’Six years ago, we met. Right here. In this spot. Five years ago we spoke for the first time. Right here where we are standing. Three years ago we found each other again. Right here, on this sidewalk’’

She took out the little box and watched Grace’s eyes widen and start glistening in shock and somewhat of happiness. Still standing she kept on with her monologue.

‘’I know we have had our ups and downs, and I hope that we will have many more. Because that is what defines a relationship. The hardest and the easiest times. It makes us us. What we are. What we want to become’’

She got down on one knee and Grace covered her mouth with her hands to keep a minor scream inside.

‘’What are you doing?’’ she muffled into her hands.

‘’Hush. You’re killing my mojo here’’ Hannah grinned in mock offense while Grace nodded her head and let her arms fall down. The smile that was plastered on her face was one that Hannah hoped to see every day for the rest of her life.

Hannah opened the red velvet box and revealed a silver ring.

‘’So, Grace Anne Helbig, I am asking you… Right here, right now. Will you give me the chance to screw up and fix everything for the rest of our lives? Will you marry me?’’

Grace grabbed the collar of Hannah’s white shirt and drew her in for a tearful kiss. A happy kiss.

‘’You have to say something’’ Hannah smiled against Grace’s lips.

‘’What?’’ Grace’s said, already forgetting that she hadn’t said that one word she had been itching to say.

‘’You have to say yes or no’’ Hannah grinned as she pulled away.

Grace’s eyes were shining when she looked into them, and Hannah just couldn’t wait to see them every time she turned around.

‘’No’’ Grace muttered, and Hannah couldn’t quite tell if she was kidding or not. So she just muttered ‘’mkay’’ and closed the box to put it away.

‘’I’m just kidding, stupid’’ Grace smirked as she pulled Hannah closer for another kiss. She leaned back and looked into the shade of blue she decided was her favorite shade of her favorite color.

‘’Yes. Of course yes. It’s always been yes’’

***

Hannah sat with the glasses on her head and her book in her hands. The book. The one she had carried with her since she left at the age of 18.

She still felt like it described her life so perfectly. Azure Christian had just realized his lover, his girlfriend, wasn’t real. She was just a story Azure had made up in his mind to make up for the life he had lead. Lizzie was just a voice in Azure’s head that he had made into a person. Something that had clawed its way behind his ribs and taken up residency there.

Hannah didn’t think that was in line with her own life, but it was still her favorite book. Everything else about it was as if she had lived it herself.

‘’What have you got there?’’ Grace smiled as she crawled into the bed beside Hannah.

‘’Nothing special’’ Hannah murmured as she reached to put the book down on the night stand beside her.

Grace grabbed it out of her hands and opened it on a random page. Her eyes scurried the page and her mouth dropped.

‘’This is exactly like us’’ she whispered.

‘’I know’’ Hannah grinned.

Grace flipped through the pages and read randomly.

‘’Did you write this?’’ she asked, stunned.

Hannah laughed and shook her head.

‘’No, of course I didn’t. Look how worn out it is’’

Grace wasn’t convinced.

‘’Are you sure? Because this is us down to almost every last detail’’ she whispered confused.

‘’Yes, I’m sure. It has been my favorite book for years’’ Hannah laughed.

Grace opened the book on the page Hannah had been reading. Her brown eyes danced along the lines of the book as they started watering up. Grace realized why she was there, why she had always been there. She remembered things she couldn’t before, everything that happened when she wasn’t with Hannah.

Hannah wondered what she was thinking about. She scurried closer to her and took the book out of Grace’s hands.

‘’What is going on in that beautiful mind of yours?’’ she murmured.

Grace looked into Hannah’s eyes. Fright and confusion evident in the brown puddles.

‘’I’m not real’’ she whispered, eyes wide and staring at Hannah.

***

‘’I’m not real’’

Watery eyes gazed into Hannah’s own as the words were whispered between them. Hannah grabbed Grace’s upper arms and squeezed, desperately holding on to the one thing she loved the most.

‘’What are you talking about? Of course you are’’

Hannah was confused. Of course Grace was real. Of course she was. If not then Hannah couldn’t have held her. She couldn’t have kissed her or loved her. Of course she was real.

‘’No, listen to me. You have to let me go. I’m not real. None of this is real!’’

Hannah squeezed harder, trying to elicit some reaction caused by the pain, but none came.

‘’Don’t you feel that?’’ she asked with watery eyes.

‘’What?’’

Hannah gazed into the brown oceans before her and whispered.

‘’The pain’’

Grace looked to the side as tears started falling from her eyes.

‘’No, I don’t. I’m not real, remember?’’

Hannah let go of Grace’s arms and let them rest on her cheeks, drawing her head to face her. But Grace held her eyes closed.

‘’Your skin feels real’’

She leaned up to kiss trembling lips.

‘’Your lips feel real’’ she cried when she withdrew.

She brought one of Grace’s hands to her chest and pressed it to the skin.

‘’Your touch feels real’’

Holding the hand there she whispered:

‘’Our love is real’’

Grace opened her eyes. Hannah would have given so much to not see the pain in her eyes, the sadness radiating from them. But they were burned into her mind. Hannah had seen those eyes before. Not the deep brown filled with pain and sadness, but emerald ones. Emerald eyes that suddenly had turned blank.

Grace pulled her arm away from Hannah and shouted at her as her eyes went from ravishing brown oceans to emerald gemstones.

‘’No, listen! This… This is not real. I’m not real’’

Grace pushed Hannah away and cried.

‘’You have to let me go’’

Hannah grabbed Grace’s shoulders and drew her closer to her body. While tears ran down her cheeks she clung onto the denim jacket.

‘’It hurts too much’’

It was barely a whisper, but both heard it.

‘’You have to’’ Grace breathed sadly.

Hannah buried her face in brown hair. She felt it against her skin. It had to be real. She felt it too much for it not to be.

‘’No’’

Grace embraced her. She put her slim arms around her and clung on to her as if she was afraid she’d disappear. And Hannah could tell she was scared. Not just Grace, but herself too.

‘’Do you ever wonder why I appeared beside you on the pavement that day? That first day it was raining? I remember everything that happened before that moment, but I don’t… I don’t feel it. I was never real. I am just a story in your head! None of this is real’’

‘’No, I can’t let you go’’

Grace pulled back, still clinging on to Hannah’s sides.

‘’You have to remember’’

Hannah looked up into her eyes. She missed the oceans that used to ravish within them.

‘’Remember what?’’ Hannah croaked.

Grace let go with one of her arms and brought it up to push a stray blonde lock behind Hannah’s ear. She looked down into Hannah’s piercing blue orbs as the tears kept running.

‘’Who you were’’

Hannah trembled. Her body was giving in and she wanted to just sleep. Just sleep for days while holding on to Grace.

‘’Where?’’ she whispered ever so weakly.

‘’In the real world’’

Hannah put her arms on Grace’s shoulders, trying to somehow find the answers buried in Grace’s eyes.

‘’This is the real world’’

Hannah cried. She really cried as she said the words that she believed were real.

‘’No, it’s not’’

Grace was shaking her head, and the brown locks that were dancing in the air disappeared slowly.

Hannah watched Grace faint away, bit by bit, and all she could do was cling to the parts that were still there. Her hair was ghosting on her shoulders. Her eyes, before hazel-brown, now emerald fading to grey as Hannah looked at them. Her lips were losing their color as Hannah leaned in for a kiss.

‘’I can’t feel you anymore’’ she sighed, crying, when she withdrew.

‘’I know’’ Grace whispered towards her.

The breath that would have once made Hannah’s lips tingle was gone. The warmth was nowhere to be felt.

‘’Your eyes…’’ Hannah cried when gazing into the grey orbs.

‘’I know’’ Grace whispered as her colorless lips trembled.

‘’Don’t leave me’’ Hannah croaked to the fading facade of what once was her one true thing in the world. Her one safe and happy thing.

‘’I’m ready now. Don’t forget me’’ was the last whisper coming from Grace.

‘’I will find you’’ Hannah screamed as Grace disappeared in her arms.

‘’You are real’’ she shouted when Grace turned into mere air.

‘’You have to be’’

’Grace’’

***

‘’Grace’’

The whisper echoed in her head as she so desperately tried to hang on to the memory of her. The Stranger that wasn’t a stranger anymore.

‘’What was that?’’

She heard a voice she had never heard before seep into her mind. A woman’s voice. At first it was just the one voice, but then it was another.

‘’What?’’

A low voice, coming from a man no doubt, was just as faintly whispering in her head.

‘’A whisper. From… her’’ the woman said, just as weakly as the last time.

‘’Say something again. Anything’’

Hannah felt something on her hand. Warmth. Cold. Metal. Was it fingers? A hand on her own? Was it Grace’s?

She looked down at it, but nothing was there. Strange. But stranger things had happened.

She tried to find the source of the sounds, but all she could see was the empty bedroom, fading as Grace had.

‘’No! No, no, no, no. This can’t happen’’ she desperately cried.

But Grace’s bedroom, their bedroom, faded into the darkness and Hannah closed her eyes.

‘’Open your eyes, love’’ the man whispered.

And so she did.

Hannah opened her eyes to see… Nothing. Everything was so light she couldn’t differ between the sun and a chair.

But then faces came into focus. Tired, old faces with renewed hope evident in their eyes.

She turned her head slowly. It was as if she couldn’t go faster. As if her body was weaker than just a moment ago.

It wasn’t their bedroom anymore. It was unknown territory. Red and black walls surrounding her. A night stand in her eyesight, filled with old ‘’get well’’ cards. Pictures of a little girl paraded the walls, and beside the night stand there was a guitar. And lying behind the ‘get well’ cards was a book. She recognized it at once. Behind my ribs.

Where am I? Where’s Grace?

She turned to face the people hanging over her bed again. Their eyes were watery, and they had tears streaming down their faces. Who were they? Why were they crying over her?

The woman threw herself on Hannah and hugged her close.

‘’Oh, good God, he has returned you to us’’ she cried.

Hannah didn’t know what to do, so she just laid there motionless. Why was this woman hugging her and talking about God?

‘’The Lord has been merciful’’ the man whispered as he grabbed Hannah’s hand and the woman pulled away from her.

Hannah looked up at the man. His emerald eyes shone with hope and love, as did the woman’s blue ones.

She coughed when she tried to speak, but she had to get the questions out.

‘’Excuse me, but who are you people?’’ she asked, her voice raspy.

‘’And where is Grace?’’ she added, looking from one face to another.

‘’What happened?’’ she whispered, mostly to herself.

She could see the momentary happiness fade away from their eyes. The hope and faith that had just surged through them was gone.

‘’You don’t remember?’’ the woman muttered sadly.

‘’You and your brother went out’’ the man said with new tears in his eyes.

‘’Drew’’ Hannah whispered.

She didn’t remember the people in front of her, but she remembered Drew. How could she forget him? His emerald eyes and playful grin always plastered on his face.

Hannah smiled before she remembered how those eyes had looked in the end.

‘’Yeah’’ the man whispered, choking slightly on the word.

Hannah looked at her hand. She remembered that hand trying to reach out to his blank eyes, and while looking at it she saw something attached to it. A hospital band, the ones with the patient’s name, saying ‘Maraiah Dewight’.

Maraiah Dewight?

Why would they name her Maraiah Dewight? Her name was Hannah Hart.

‘’You were attacked’’

The man tore her mind back to the conversation at hand.

‘’He… He was gone when they found you’’ the woman mustered out with a deep exhale.

‘’And you… You were unconscious. The doctors told us you would never regain consciousness, but we kept faith’’ the man smiled.

‘’We knew the Lord would bring you back to us’’ the woman added.

Hannah looked from one face to another, trying to figure out where they came into the equation. Did they mean… that they were her parents? No, they couldn’t be. They couldn’t!

‘’Though he didn’t. He didn’t bring back your Maria Dewhitt or whatever’’ Hannah muttered, her voice raspy from apparently not using it for a while.

She could tell it was the wrong thing to say by the new tears forming mixed with confusion in their eyes.

‘’My name is Hannah Hart’’ she said, her voice stern. But then she remembered there was still one question burning a hole in her mind.

‘’And where is my fiancée?

‘’Your… fiancée?’’ the woman before Hannah asked, uncertainty dancing in her voice.

‘’My fiancée’’

‘’Grace’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nobody dies for real, chill


End file.
